Hello all you interweb viewers, you should all be at youtheventz.com and if you're not then fine fine whatever. But of course then you couldn't read this at all... I could say anything... like when I was in grade 3 I walked into the girl's bathroom and came out 5 minutes later not knowing I had made a mistake, until Whitney Dudeck laughed at me... Oh wait there are still the people who ARE here! Ah yes, well Linkin Park is one of my favourite bands for a plethora of reasons, one being that their music can be taken so many different ways by different people. And breaking the habit is one of my favourite songs. So I've decided to do a devotion on the song, particularly the lyrics and how they connect to me. So for this devo im going to be going through the theme and how it connects to me.

<You can check out the lyrics online, one place is here.>

Well like I said you can find different themes in the songs and the theme I get out of this song is that when you try to choose sides it can be confusing and painful, and that we all get in cycles of self destruction and we need to find a way out. Personally I haven`t had that tough of a life, but there have been times (and still are) when my faith has been in question because of conflicting messages and the fact that I can let my own desire to be logical overthrow what God is trying to tell me. I struggle with some things that are hard to believe in the Bible, like just how DID Noah fit all those creatures in that boat. And then I think to that side of me that says "It's not possible! There's too many!". When what I should be thinking is "God can do absolutely anything".

I get easily confused and it makes me wonder about God so I have a kind of battle between my spirit and my brain, and I can't decide what I believe. And not knowing what I believe in is something that has really damaged me in the past. I personally have always tried to learn more so I can get as close as I can to figuring out who God really is. I'm quite sure I`ll never know in this lifetime, but when I get people who are skeptical and they tell me "that's not possible", when I've been surrounded by that enough times, I start to wonder if they have a point. How DOES God do all those things? And when I thought of bad times I've gone through, those memories make me wonder where God was then.

This led me to a lot of questioning and almost anger, I wanted to know what God was right then and there. I wanted a sign - a clear lightning bolt out of the sky that spelled out "I'M RIGHT HERE" and I wanted all my questions answered right away. Now I've realized that was selfish and after prayer and reflection. If God just did that there would be no journey on our part there would be no sacrifice and tough choices. For me these things are essential in getting close and it just doens't work to say "Give me the answer", its like getting the answers for a test handed to you, you may know what to write down but you haven't learned anything. You're exactly where you were when you started.

So I've come to realize as much as I always want to be right and know everything, it's not going to happen. Plain and simple. But that's what has made my journey to God worthwhile: the fact that I have to get off my butt and seek. So ya I've taken up enough space. I'll do another devo later about actually breaking the cycle of self destruction, if Mike wants me to. lol.

See ya later interwebbers PrayzJC _Adam

Check 'em out:
- Matthew 16:13-17
- Psalm 46
- 1 Corinthians 13:9-12

(Adam Cresswell is from Kitchener, Ontario)